New Albums, New Site. New-new-new.

Hey, you! Long time no see. I know, I know. I just haven’t had time to call… How’s Aunt Lou? Oh, that’s good. Good, good. Okay. Okay. Stop talking now, please. We’ve got a whole bunch of new stuff for you, so quit your dilly-dallying and go check it out, okay? Okay. Download the new […]

An Original Holiday Poem and a New Track — Merry Rapmas, Everyone!

‘Twas the night before Rapmas, and all through the crib, Not a weapon was firing, not even a squib. The do-rags were hung by the chimney with style, In hopes that Saint Hovaclaus would be there in a while. The homies were sleeping all chill in their beds, While visions of Beyonce danced in their […]

L@@K INSIDE!! YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!!11 PLEASE HELP?

Dear Sir Madam, I am Mr.ADjunct ofFunk. I have the incidental courage of offering you most excellent reward for your recent exposition to the cause of PRofessor Rap. Please emigrate your internet to the nearest band-camp in regrets of purchasing without cost to you or your family (whomever I am foretold are most beautiful in […]

You will enjoy this if you are from NY or if you are not from NY.

Hey there, kiddies! The Professor of Rap’s got a brand new track for you to rub against your earlobes! It’s called A Season in Hell and it’s really funny! It’s about a cute little dog who is taking a nap, and then a precious kitten comes over and starts nuzzling his paws, and then the […]

VIDEO: The Professor of Rap = Grammy.

Did you know that the Professor of Rap deserves a Grammy? It’s true. He made a video about it and everything. You should check it out. It’s pretty neat. It’s right down there. Right below this — What you’re reading right now. Go look. Look at it. Right now, look at it. I’m not lying. […]

Please Remove Your Children From The Computer.

Oh, hey there! Long time, no see. Yeah, I missed you, too. Oh, I’m fine. How have you been? Oh yeah? Yeah? Wow, that’s really interest– Uh huh. Yeah, well– Um, look, hold on– Wow, that’s terrible. I hope they find the giraffe… Yeah. Um, look– Look. I didn’t ask for your whole life story. […]

The Professor of Rap Tour Memoirs – Part I

A (completely un)true story by the Adjunct of Funk, Spencer Christiano. The following tale contains some profanity, but no obscenity. It’s 5:30 at night, Pacific Standard Time. It’s January. Cold. We’re northbound on Highway 376 in Nevada on our way to Reno. Word around the tour bus is that we’ll be hitting the junction with […]

Rap U: We Like Songs with Animals.

Here it is. The track you’ve all been waiting for. I’ll skip the usual blather and get right to the good stuff. The latest track in the weekly release parade leading up to “The Professor of Rap’s Dance Revolution” is… Do the Moose. Today happens to be the 2nd anniversary of the revival of Moose […]

Today on Rap U: A Song About a Cat.

The Professor sent me this song. I don’t think it’s rap. I’m also fairly certain that he’s not the person singing. In fact, I don’t think The Professor had anything to do with this track at all. Maybe he stole it from someone. Maybe it’s a B-Side to “Puff the Magic Dragon.” I don’t “get” […]

Rap Music for People who Hate Rap Music

“Harrumph!” you shout from your ivory tower of elitism, built on foundations of diamond-encrusted scoffs and platinum-coated eyerolls. “What’s all this about ‘Rap’ so-called ‘Music?’ In my day, people played tender ballads on guitars and panflutes while staring at the floor, terrified of being thought ‘subversive’ or ‘original!’ Musicians would cry themselves to sleep, ashamed […]