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Sticky: Free Music!

The Professor of Rap’s debut album is FREE to download! You can download it in 320kbps MP3, FLAC, or just about any other format you can imagine at Bandcamp. But hey, maybe you don’t feel like downloading the whole album — You just want a few tracks. Well, you can do that, too. Individual tracks […]


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John on the Miche Fambro Show

Recorded June 23, 2010 at the Tango Cafe.

New Albums, New Site. New-new-new.

Hey, you! Long time no see. I know, I know. I just haven’t had time to call… How’s Aunt Lou? Oh, that’s good. Good, good. Okay. Okay. Stop talking now, please. We’ve got a whole bunch of new stuff for you, so quit your dilly-dallying and go check it out, okay? Okay. Download the new […]

An Original Holiday Poem and a New Track — Merry Rapmas, Everyone!

‘Twas the night before Rapmas, and all through the crib, Not a weapon was firing, not even a squib. The do-rags were hung by the chimney with style, In hopes that Saint Hovaclaus would be there in a while. The homies were sleeping all chill in their beds, While visions of Beyonce danced in their […]


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I Hate You, James Franco.

You know who really grinds my gears? This James Franco kid. He thinks he’s all special with his degrees and his fame and his critically-acclaimed performances and his hair… I don’t like him very much! I wish he would just go away. He’s making it difficult for us non-critically-acclaimed guys. I feel like I need […]

Hacked by Saudis

On November 15th, my website was hacked by citizens of Saudi Arabia. I have no information or proof to back up this statement other than the words “Saudi Arabia” that appeared in parentheses on the hacker’s calling card that took the place of my website and destroyed my electronic life. Such is the reputation of […]


Dear Sir Madam, I am Mr.ADjunct ofFunk. I have the incidental courage of offering you most excellent reward for your recent exposition to the cause of PRofessor Rap. Please emigrate your internet to the nearest band-camp in regrets of purchasing without cost to you or your family (whomever I am foretold are most beautiful in […]

You will enjoy this if you are from NY or if you are not from NY.

Hey there, kiddies! The Professor of Rap’s got a brand new track for you to rub against your earlobes! It’s called A Season in Hell and it’s really funny! It’s about a cute little dog who is taking a nap, and then a precious kitten comes over and starts nuzzling his paws, and then the […]

VIDEO: The Professor of Rap = Grammy.

Did you know that the Professor of Rap deserves a Grammy? It’s true. He made a video about it and everything. You should check it out. It’s pretty neat. It’s right down there. Right below this — What you’re reading right now. Go look. Look at it. Right now, look at it. I’m not lying. […]

Please Remove Your Children From The Computer.

Oh, hey there! Long time, no see. Yeah, I missed you, too. Oh, I’m fine. How have you been? Oh yeah? Yeah? Wow, that’s really interest– Uh huh. Yeah, well– Um, look, hold on– Wow, that’s terrible. I hope they find the giraffe… Yeah. Um, look– Look. I didn’t ask for your whole life story. […]

The Professor of Rap Tour Memoirs – Part I

A (completely un)true story by the Adjunct of Funk, Spencer Christiano. The following tale contains some profanity, but no obscenity. It’s 5:30 at night, Pacific Standard Time. It’s January. Cold. We’re northbound on Highway 376 in Nevada on our way to Reno. Word around the tour bus is that we’ll be hitting the junction with […]